Style How-To's

How To Respectfully Adhere to the Dress Code

I received an email from a viewer a while back and it just stuck with me. So much so that I had to make a video about it. Here is the email:

“I just attended a “casual” 50th birthday party at a local bar and I felt my outfit was a casual “going out” outfit. It was a two piece crop top and skirt with thigh high boots. This is something I’d just wear out to any club so not special but the others were saying, “You wasted your outfit on this event?” Me: WASTED? Never felt like I wasted this outfit because I’m always conscience of my attire. It’s better to be “over dressed” than like I was attending a hoedown! SMH”

Girrrrrl … I have some thoughts on this email and a few tips for respectfully adhering to dress codes. Check out the video above for my tips!

The Science of Style

5 Ways To Feel Happy In Your Clothes

When you boil down all of your goals, hopes, dreams, and desires – no matter what they are we all are just looking for happiness at the end of the day. We think the relationship, the job, the car, the vacation will make us happy but we still find ourselves coming up short.

So the question is, can you dress your way to happiness?

I certainly think you can. Here are five ways to dress happy.

1.) Wear clothing that supports movement. Moving your body makes you happy. Dancing, running, jumping, heck just feeling comfortable in your clothing can make you feel good. Purchase clothing that fits/feels , and you’ll be well on your way to that happy place.

2.) Make a statement. Wearing a unique piece whether it’s a statement necklace or a one-of-a-kind vintage pieces can make you feel amazing. These pieces are usually conversation starters, and the wearer gets credit/accolades for picking up such a great piece. Getting praise often leads to happiness.

3.) Well cut clothing. A well-made, well-cut garment shows your shape in the best light, and that bolsters confidence. When you feel confident you feel, what? Happy. I know when I’m wearing something that is cut for my body I have an extra pep in my step . When I wear something over-sized or misshapen, I feel “fat” and uncomfortable which takes me out of that happy place.

4.) Playful patterns. Patterned and printed clothing is something a lot of women avoid. They are harder to style, have less longevity, BUT they do a lot to pump up that happy juice. Patterns that are playful remind us of our childhood, patterns found in nature connect us to the energy of the universe, and stripes/plaids make us feel cool and stylish.

5.) Pieces that are “you.” When your attire reflects your authentic self, you get happy. My hair, for example, chopping it all off makes me feel more me than I ever have in my entire life. I feel damn excited about it too. Some people don’t like (most do), but it doesn’t matter because for once in my life I feel truly happy about my hair life.

So there are five ways you get dress happy. Remember what you put on your body can trick your mind into entering that state. So dress happy, be happy.

The Science of Style

Sexy Style: Harmful or Helpful?

I love it when people who dress provocatively get all pissy and say things like “I’m not hurting anybody, mind your business!” when people question their appearance.

Turns out, dress overly sexy can and does hurt ,and it does the most harm to the wearer. Ouch!

For starters, provocatively dressed women are judged as being less competent than those who cover up. Now that doesn’t mean they are less competent or does it?

Enter the bikini test!

This study is fascinating. A group of men and women were asked to take a math test while wearing swimsuits. The men passed their tests with flying colors, but the women failed miserably. But why?

Researchers concluded that women are so used to internalizing the male gazes (aka we’re always being judged on our bodies) that all of that self-objectification uses up our mental resources and we can’t successfully perform intellectual tasks – like a simple math test.

Another interesting factoid I picked up is that women who developed their bodies earlier (not me, late bloomer over here) are accustomed to getting lots of attention by exposing. Even if that attention is negative – think about girls getting mocked for having big boobs, getting their bras snapped, etc. This sends the message early on that being sexy is all they are good for. This tends to decrease their academic performance and screws with their social adjusting skills and self-esteem.

Finally, women feel more qualified for their jobs if they dress less sexy. It could make us act more qualified as well because women who wear more masculine clothing advance in their careers.

This isn’t to say that we all have to cover up like a mummy. I suggest asking yourself if your clothes are coming from a place or liberation or power? Why are you showing skin and are you willing to do it strategically given the facts?

Weigh in on the video comments.

Dressing Your Body Type, Style Inspiration

3 Ways To Look Slimmer In Your Clothes

 

“Do I look fat in this?”

I think it’s pretty obvious that when that phrase leaves your lips, you don’t want to look fat in this. Most women want to look slim in their clothes. I won’t say all, but most.

Looking slim in your clothes isn’t a 24/7 requirement – sometimes you have to say screw it and wear that fabulous outfit that also makes you look kinda huge. But for the times where you need to look slim – like for important events, occasions when you are being filmed or photographed … let’s do what we can to look slim and confident.

Here are a couple of tips!

1.) Wear all one color. This blurs the dividing lines on the body, which makes you look slimmer.

2.) Avoid patterned clothing. The human eye takes longer to travel across patterned fabrics, and this makes the body appear longer.

3.) Emphasize your waist. Anytime you draw attention to the smaller part of your body; it makes you appear smaller as a whole.

What are your tips for looking slimmer? Share them in the comments.

The Science of Style

Style That Gets You Paid

 

I just love how much power we have hanging in our closets! Style can alter your mood, it can attract people into your life and out of your life, it can make you look bigger or smaller than you are, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

If style can do all that, it can certainly get you paid.

Did you know, people are more willing got give money to someone who’s style resembles their own?

So if you’re trying to get your boss to give you that raise, start dressing like her. It’s based on the NLP technique called mirroring. You can do it with peoples mannerisms and gestures too, if someone believes you are like them, they are going to like you. So dressing similar to a powerful player makes them feel like you’re basically BFFs.

Want an excuse to purchase some designer labels? It has been proven that wearing labels get you hired! A candidate with a visible/recognizable designer piece gets hired over an equally qualified candidate in no-name clothes.

It comes down to this: when you look like you care about yourself, other people want to care for you too. Giving someone a job, to me, is the ultimate form of caring – they want to help you live!

The Science of Style

Your Brain On Style

 

Remember that commercial in the 80s with the egg?

“This is your brain, this your brain on drugs. Any questions?”

Ahh, I remember it like it was yesterday.

Anyhow in today’s video, I’m doing the same thing with style. A few facts:

1.) Choosing the right clothes can you make you less anxious and less depressed! Your clothing sends internal messages to your brain that can boost your mood or put you down in the dumps. Think about it; the wrong outfit can make you feel like shit; the right gear can make you feel like a million bucks.

So that means it’s not just about what looks nice. It’s about what feels right.

2.) There is a link between unkempt clothing and depression – not to say that everyone who dresses poorly is depressed but out of those studied who were depressed their clothing showed it.

Studies also show that the #1 item people reach for when they’re feeling low? Jeans! And baggy tops came in a close second.

And perhaps the most interesting piece …

In a study people were asked to look at a series of photos where the faces were blurred, body positioning the same, the only thing different was their outfits. Just by seeing their outfits, people were able to guess the subjects mood accurately!

So there it is folks, your brain is affected by what’s on your back.

The Science of Style

10 Reasons Why People Get Dressed

Our use of clothing has evolved throughout the years. Gone are the days where clothing was purely used to keep us protected from the elements. Those days left with the cavemen.

These days we wear clothing for all sort of reasons. In fact, I’ve gathered 10 of the reasons to share with you today:

1.) To Feel Confident
2.) To Be Comfortable
3.) For Self Expression
4.) To Look Fashionable
5.) To Look Professional
6.) To Get Noticed
7.) To Look Sexy
8.) To Show Off Your Body
9.) To Disguise Your Body
10.) To Blend In

Not all of those reasons are “good” reasons, but they are reasons all the same. I find it very helpful to clear on your motives for getting dressed.

Can you pick one or two items from that list and tailor your wardrobe choices to them. For me, I might choose to look fashionable and to feel confident. With those two things in mind, I cam circle back to those motives each time I shop.

What are your style motives? Share them in the video comments.

The Science of Style

7 Ways to Look Powerful

It’s our instinct to desire power – whether it be at work, in your relationship, or even among your peer group. A little bit of power feels good. Sometimes you need power. Perhaps you are a leader in your industry or at your organization. If you don’t command authority and respect, things could go South.

The definition of power is “the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others or the course of events.”

So how do you go about looking powerful? I have seven ways …

1.) Have a Signature Look. When you think about powerful women throughout history, the majority of them have some signature look. Michelle Obama with her brightly colored sleeve sheath dresses that expose her killer arms.

2.) Be Well Groomed. Who wants to be led by someone who is scraggly and smelly? No one. Pull it together! Comb your hair, get your nails done, shower. It’s not rocket science, people.

3.) Emphasis on Quality. Quality over quantity. When you outfit yourself in head to toe cheap, people can tell.

4.) Darker Colors Project Authority. And who doesn’t love a badass in black?

5.) High Contrast with Color or Accessories. Red says power every time (especially with blue undertones) and bold accessories make an impact. Influential people make an impact.

6.) Skip Patterns. The pattern takes away from your message – clothes are doing too much of the talking. Influential people draw you in with their words and the clothing compliments their message.

7.) Adapt to Your Environment. Not to get political, but I’m going to use a political example because its fashion related and I think most people are aware of it. When Melania Trump wore sky-high heels to Texas after the hurricane. Okay, not adapting to their environment and she certainly didn’t give off a sort of power. In fact, she got dragged for being so out of touch. Adapt to your environment.

What do you do to dress powerfully? Sound off in the video comments.

The Science of Style

The Problem with Dressing Comfortably

“I just want to be comfortable!”

If I had a dollar for every time, someone said that to me …

I get it, no one wants to be uncomfortable but these days comfort typically means sweatpants or some heinous pair of leggings.

I often think about that episode on Seinfeld where George was rocking sweatpants, and Jerry told him the message he was sending to the world was that he gave up on life.

Karl Lagerfeld has a similar quote regarding sweatpants.

Sweatpants rarely make a positive statement to the world. AND as it turns out, they don’t make a positive statement to yourself either.

In a German study, when people were asked to describe their characteristics in formal clothes vs. comfortable clothes, the answers changed dramatically. You think different of YOURSELF dependent on what is on your back. What you wear it what you become.

Dressing up makes you more internally motivated. Dressing down does not. If you want to get fired up, you need to take off those damn sweats. Dressing up shows the ability to step up, to expose yourself, and a willingness to feel good.

Are you still going to dress “comfortable” sound off in the comments?

Dressing Your Body Type

Love Your Body Style Challenge {July 9-18th)

I have yet to meet a person who has an entirely positive relationship with their body. The person you look at and think #bodygoals is currently standing on her bathroom scale crying over the number staring back at her. The woman whose photos you obsess over on Instagram, just had a meltdown in the fitting room because she can’t quite pull her jeans over her butt.

We all have body issues, and our clothing is a constant reminder that we aren’t thin enough, our boobs aren’t big enough, our ankles aren’t small enough. Please feel free to insert your body hang-up here.

The reality is we can’t avoid wearing clothing. Try as you might, you have to put clothes on your back to function as a normal member of society. I dare you to make it one week without wearing anything! In fact, if you are crazy enough to try that it still wouldn’t fix your relationship with your body.

We have to put on clothes, and we have to live in our bodies.

Can you change your body? Sure. But can you change it this second? No, not really. You can start the change today, but visual change takes time.

How about your clothes, can you change that now? Of course, you can, but that isn’t the answer. Changing your relationship with clothing is the answer. 

And with that, I’d like to introduce you to my latest challenge!

The Love Your Body Style Challenge.

Starting July 9th, we are going embark upon a challenge where we are going to stand tall and go deep when it comes to personal style and our bodies.

We aren’t going to diet, and we aren’t going to exercise (unless you want to), we aren’t even going to go shopping! What we are going to do is explore how styling the clothes we have can change the way we feel about our bodies.

Sounds pretty magical, doesn’t it?

What’s included:

  • A 10-Day Love Your Body Style Challenge guide.
  •  Membership to the private Love Your Body Style Challenge Facebook group.
  • Daily live video lessons from me inside the FB group and delivered to your inbox.

>> JOIN NOW <<

By the end of this challenge you will:

  • Begin to appreciate the body you have instead of obsessing over the one you think you want.
  • Walk away with some power relationships with the other women inside the group and with me.
  • Learn a ton! I will be popping into the group daily with extra style lessons and feedback on your work.

Are you ready to join? The challenge officially starts July 9th, so snag your spot now.

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