Me, Myself, and My Style: Clear Mind, Clear Sense of Style

Ever look in the mirror and think to yourself, “Dammit, I’m an actual adult!” I do. All. The. Time.
Call me a late bloomer, but lately I have been having moment after moment that reminds me that I’m no longer a “carefree young person” – I’m a full blown adult. No one is coming to save me, mastering this life thing is totally on me.

As shitty as it feels sometimes, it’s been an incredible transformation. I’m becoming far less reckless with money, my clarity on who I am and what I want in life is almost 20/20, and with each day that passes, it’s becoming easier to put me first.

Of course with any transformation (at least this is how it goes down for me), there is a period pain before the pleasure comes. Truly knowing myself has meant ridding myself of the things that do not serve me. Since we’ve last chatted on the personal tip a lot has happened …

1.) At 35, another relationship down the drain – nice guy, wrong guy. Here is the thing about truly knowing yourself – you can’t fake it, you can’t make something work that doesn’t just because you really want it to. Accepting that my “life plan” isn’t going as planned has been tough, especially for a planner like me.

2.) I am in the middle of restructuring my styling business because while I love what I do, some aspects of my business weren’t supporting the life I want to live. So stay tuned for some new and exciting styling services – I am really excited about them even though it means working round-the-clock.

3.) I’ve also been forced to evaluate all of the relationships in my life (business, friendships, etc.) and figure out what’s working and not working for ME. It’s finally time to put me first because for years I’ve always been last on the list.

So what does this have to do with style? For me, everything.

What’s interesting is that my personal style is definitely reflecting this life shift. Clear mind, a clear sense of style. For the first time, I truly know the colors, silhouettes, and brands that work best for me – not in a technical sense but in a “this is what makes me look AND feel good” sort of way. Today I make far fewer “oops” purchases, and I truly love everything hanging in my closet.

Lauren Messiah

‘Clear Lauren’ loves denim, pointy toe pumps, killer hats, blazers, leather, neutral colors, and statement necklaces. ‘Unclear Lauren’ tries to make bold colors work, shows skin but then feels incredibly uncomfortable, is attracted to wild shoes but lets them collect dust in her closet, and shops to get a quick fix and then instantly regrets her purchases.

Just as I’ve had to do a little spring cleaning in my life (bye-bye boy, bad friends, and work habits that are making me insane), my closet underwent some spring cleaning as well. What’s left behind is a closet full of pieces that make me feel like me – the new me, the clear me.

How are clear are you in life and is your style reflecting this clarity? Sound off in the comments.

11 thoughts on “Me, Myself, and My Style: Clear Mind, Clear Sense of Style”

  1. Lovely post Lauren. I’m quite a bit older and again looking for that clarity. In life. In style. Love your blog and videos.

  2. Hi Lauren,

    Sorry to hear about the guy not working out. At least you found out early. I almost married the wrong one once.

    I can honestly say I’m in a state of transition as well. I have gone through my wardrobe twice in the past few months and cleared out a lot of things. Mainly clothes that no longer fit that I’m holding onto as I lose weight. For me, I’m learning to buy clothes that I like and fit me now, so that I can feel good about myself. I’m hitting the big 3-0 in August and I think that also has played a part in me transitioning. I’ve given up the mini skirts for more knee length skirts and neutrals seem to be my trend in my closet with a small pop of color here and there. I look forward to what new ventures you explore.

    A new fan,

  3. hi lauren <3 6 months ago i read marie kondo's book, a week later found a wardrobe (in very good condition) that our neighbors about to toss, i took it and reassemble it and i did my first detox. a lot of stuff has gone. then i found your channel in youtube and watched all of your videos, read all of your e books, also read your blog. i ve just done a spring cleaning in my closet last week, it took about 3 days because i ve tried EVERYTHING that i own. i'm donating about 100 pieces! i love your tips about style and your videos& e books! they literally changed my life. i figured out that as i'm detoxing and cleaning my wardrobe, i m also detoxing my life. like your business restructure, i'm a dentist and i'm enlarging my clinic, have moved in a new place this week. like you, i'm freeing myself from toxic people, toxic relationships. i'm putting myself first now and i'm in the happiest period of my entire life 🙂 by the way, i'm 30 and just like you, every morning i look to the mirror and say 'i m an adult, also i m very happy and beautiful.' it really works. thanks for being you, love you lots 🙂

    1. Your comment is giving me life!! Thank you so much for sharing. Love the happy and beautiful mirror affirmations, definitely need to add those into my morning routine.

  4. Wow Laureen I feel like I’m reading my own story. I too am undergoing a major transformation in my life and reassessing my path and relationships. I have a great career but am not where I want to be. I hold on to things that don’t benefit me for way too long.

    I’ve been wanting and needing to purge my wardrobe because I know the clutter is a representative of the clutter in my life. I commend you for making positive moves towards achieving your purpose. I admire you for admitting in such an open way some very personal things. Whatever you have planned for your business I’m such will be a great success!

    Peace and blessings,

    Your are so darn stylish and talented! I also look forward to your videos

    1. Thank you, Yasmeen. It’s amazing how long we hold on to things that don’t serve us because the fear of change is so great. Keep me posted on your wardrobe purge, it will definitely help.

  5. I’m 50 , a husband, one child and caregiver of an older parent later, putting myself first. I am so excited about undergoing a major transformation in my wardrobe. So, glad you are brave and honest with yourself, The truth shall set you free! I’m looking forward to your future videos and advice to establish a new stylish and chic wardrobe. I love your style!

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