Lauren’s Burn Book: 11 Items to Toss (and Burn)

I recently came across an article called 13 Things Every Guy Should Take Out of His Closet and Burn. This got my brain going and I started to think about things that I believe every woman should toss out of her closet immediately. I see these fashion horrors all the time during closet cleanses and I force my clients to toss this type of trash out. The following items are played out. They are toast and they should never see the light of day ever again.

Platform Flip Flops

Why on earth would anyone wear these heinous things? Outdated, awful, and tacky. Flip flops are bad enough, adding a platform simply adds insult to injury. Burn!

Velour Tracksuit

Sure, back in the day a Juicy Couture tracksuit was the ultimate status symbol (how stupid does that sound) but today? Fail! A velour tracksuit isn’t acceptable anywhere – not in your house, not at the gym, and certainly not to run errands. These have to go.

Trucker Hats

You all know I’m a sucker for hats but this is where I draw the line.

Jeans with Embroidery

True story, I just threw out a hefty handful of embroidered jeans during a closet cleanse just the other day. These jeans are bad news. No one will ever take you seriously in a pair of embroidered jeans. Add an extra splash of lighter fluid if there are rhinestones involved.

Argyle Sweaters and Ribbed Sweaters

Argyle looks good on socks and that’s pretty much it. Ribbed sweaters also get my blood boiling, talk about unflattering.

Jersey Halter Tops

This was the ultimate going out garment. Throw on your sexy jersey halter top and pair of $300 embroidered jeans and you were good to go. New flash: those days are gone. Get rid of those halter tops unless you are a Real Housewives cast member.

Rhinestone/Bedazzled ANYTHING

Remember when rhinestones meant you were totally awesome? I remember bedazzling my T-Mobile Sidekick (so embarrassing) but today rhinestones are not okay. Stay away and burn anything you have that falls under the bedazzled category.

Ed Hardy

Do I even need to give you a reason to burn anything and everything Ed Hardy or Ed Hardy inspired? I didn’t think so.

Clear Bra Straps

I’m sorry but we can still see you, clear bra straps.  Just wear a strapless bra and make all of our lives a little bit easier.

Crocs

I mean … C’mon. PS- I like how they tried to make them look cool in this pic.

Plastic Hangers

Wire hangers are obviously horrible but those big puffy plastic hangers might actually be worse. Get yourself some of those sexy slimline felt hangers – they are are so much better than both wire and plastic hangers combined.Did I leave anything out of my fashion burn book? I’m sure I did so please leave your burn-worthy items in the comments section below.