For those of you who don’t know, my resolution this year is to be wiser with my money. That means no more weekly, who the hell am I kidding? Scratch that, almost daily shopping shopping sprees must come to a close. Yep, this Kitty has to grow up (a little) because almost every penny I earn seems to magically disappear.
Here it is only January 2nd and I am already thinking “Why the hell did I make that resolution when there are so many great shoes in the world.”
Yes, I am that ridiculous. But it got me thinking … I need someone to buy this stuff for me, but how?
Someone in my office suggested that I get a “sponsor” which is really code name for a “Sugar Daddy.” Well let me tell you something, it is 2000-fucking-8 and I don’t need a sugar daddy. The last thing I need is to lowering myself to sleeping with some rich old man just for a pair of shoes.
I want the shoes but I don’t want the sex. What I need is a Splenda Daddy.
Yeah that’s right, a Splenda Daddy. A Splenda Daddy (according to me) is a man who buys a women fashionable and fabulous fashions because he wants her to look her best. No sex involved, just shoes … and bags, and clothes, and maybe a vacation or two.
Splenda Daddies look like sugar, taste like sugar but don’t have all that extra calorie bullshit!
Does a Splenda Daddy really exist? I have no idea but if he does, he knows where to find me.