Will you be my Splenda Daddy?


Today as I was drooling over these shoes, oh and these shoes too. And I started to think about how hard my New Year’s resolution is going to be.

For those of you who don’t know, my resolution this year is to be wiser with my money. That means no more weekly, who the hell am I kidding? Scratch that, almost daily shopping shopping sprees must come to a close. Yep, this Kitty has to grow up (a little) because almost every penny I earn seems to magically disappear.

Here it is only January 2nd and I am already thinking “Why the hell did I make that resolution when there are so many great shoes in the world.”

Yes, I am that ridiculous. But it got me thinking … I need someone to buy this stuff for me, but how?

Someone in my office suggested that I get a “sponsor” which is really code name for a “Sugar Daddy.” Well let me tell you something, it is 2000-fucking-8 and I don’t need a sugar daddy. The last thing I need is to lowering myself to sleeping with some rich old man just for a pair of shoes.

I want the shoes but I don’t want the sex. What I need is a Splenda Daddy.

Yeah that’s right, a Splenda Daddy. A Splenda Daddy (according to me) is a man who buys a women fashionable and fabulous fashions because he wants her to look her best. No sex involved, just shoes … and bags, and clothes, and maybe a vacation or two.

Splenda Daddies look like sugar, taste like sugar but don’t have all that extra calorie bullshit!

Does a Splenda Daddy really exist? I have no idea but if he does, he knows where to find me.

12 thoughts on “Will you be my Splenda Daddy?”

  1. I need a Splenda Daddy too! I made the same resolution about spending and I’ve already blown my January budget…yikes!

  2. That’s a pretty thinly veiled plea to have some desperate PR flack send you stuff. That’s getting really old…

    But hey, if you want free shoes, the trick is to hook up with a foot/shoe fetishist. Typically, actual sex isn’t involved. Wiggle your toes enough, and you might even get a free vacation out of it.

  3. I just got my credit card bill for December and I think I need to be more careful with my money too. As for a splenda daddy, I think I hit the jackpot with a great boyfriend who loves to spoil me.

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