Why, Scarlett. Why?

It pains me to do this because Scarlett Johansson is one of my favorite non-train wreck celebrities. She has a fabulous body, mad style, and is a total knock out in the looks department. But in this photo, she nearly knocked me out with bad fashion choices.

It was like Scarlett rolled out of bed that day and decided “I don’t want to be hot anymore.” This is the most horrible “casual” outfit I have ever seen. It’s weird because I have seen this outfit before … on a 45-year-old housewife! But when a housewife wears such a disaster, I just shrug my shoulders and assume they gave up on looking nice years ago.

Let’s take it from the top.

What you can’t see is that Scarlett has a bullring in her nose. Bullrings aren’t okay for successful twenty-somethings; they are best suited for angst ridden teenagers trying to be tough. The sunglasses make her look like a total tourist — gross. The army green tank is ill-fitting and makes this curvy starlet look curvy in all the wrong places. The shorts are the thing that really make me want to vomit; a clashing shade of green “mom shorts” with a leather woven belt. Sheesh, the last time I wore a woven belt was in the 7th grade (I believe it was from the Gap). Don’t even get me started on the shoes … are those slippers?! And to top it all off she puts on a Chanel watch and thinks that pulls it all together. It doesn’t.

Scarlett, why? Is this a joke? You are a beautiful young woman so shake what you mama gave you … just don’t shake it in mama’s clothes.

5 thoughts on “Why, Scarlett. Why?”

  1. I agree that her shorts are an ill fit and that the belt is not a great look, not to mention her choice of handbags. I will, however, mention that flat espadrilles are incredibly hot and casually fashion forward, although I’m not sure she’s quite pulling them off. One more thing on her behalf is the angle of the photograph is just plain awful, which is beyond her control.

  2. This is so sad. She looks kind of like a suburban soccer mom. For her sake, I’m hoping that a lot of the problem was a really bad angle of photography. Ick.

  3. it’s hard to tell but i believe her shoes are Toms (http://www.tomsshoes.com/Default.aspx), which are not only extremely comfortable but they support a great cause. normally, they look ok but the way that she wears them with the frumpy top and the soccer mom shorts is just mortifying.

  4. Oh my gosh what happened to Scarlett?? It’s like she just wacked herself with an ugly stick that morning

  5. I like when you post here as well as Styledash. This was a funny article and I like being able to tell you that!

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